A good place to start is by checking out what has caused the decrease in sharing this generally pleasurable activity.Here’s some of the most common factors that inhibit sexual sharing: If spouses prioritize other activities over sharing sexual time, there may be trouble ahead.Put simply, they’ve been avoiding reality and their true emotions for a very long time – usually several years or even decades – and without the ability to moderate those sensations (via an addictive substance or behavior) they can very easily become overwhelmed and/or addled.One moment they feel awesome, on top of the world, incredibly attractive, and unbelievably horny; the next moment they feel like the world’s biggest pile of dog crap, completely unworthy of love and affection.But two years into their marriage, their sex life began to dwindle -- from multiple times a week to once every few months to once a year, with Heather as the sole initiator.Heather isn't happy about it, but her husband isn't interested in sex and doesn't want to talk about how to fix what she sees as a major problem. "He's not in the mood; he's tired; he has a stomachache." She suspects he has low testosterone, but he refuses to see a doctor.Sometimes there is little choice, as when couples have jobs with opposite hours. Others just don’t experience sexual pleasure during intercourse.
Still others have had traumatic sexual experiences earlier in their lives that may be blocking comfort with adult sexual sharing.
Alongside the internet dating revolution, these “playfairs” are evidence of a potentially dramatic shift in British marriage.
As dating websites open up a global shop window of sexual possibilities, as life expectancy continues to rise and we become increasingly sexually aware, how can we still take the crushing old rules of fidelity, that turn marriage into a prison, for granted?
But Heather can't seem to get any sympathy or engagement, so she's just stopped trying -- she's tired of being rejected.
Women may not be relying on men to be the sexual instigators in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're immune to the rejection of an unreciprocated sex drive, especially with traditional gender norms still floating around.