It makes sense: responsiveness is key to any relationship, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic union.
But it’s not as important of a factor when you first meet someone, according to the study.
Any time you want to host a dinner party with your closest friends, you feel guilty that your guy won’t have any of his friends there, and before you know it you’ve also invited his five closest friends and are spending 0 more on food and cleaning 10 more plates. Maybe you don’t leave your weekends empty but fill them up with plans with your friends, which you proceed to cancel at the last minute because your guy calls you to go out. It might feel rude to not reach for your purse when a check arrives, but try not to reach for it every time.
If your guy is letting you pay, it could either be because he thinks you’re a feminist who is offended at being paid for, OR you truly enjoy treating him, OR because he is a mooch…you don’t want it to be the last explanation, and you’ll never find out unless you stop reaching for that purse.
All too often, I meet men who teeter dangerously on the edge of giving up hope that they will find lasting love. Because every woman they fall for tells them they are “too nice.” Immediately after, of course, comes that vulgar and offensive F-word: FRIENDS.
You might be interested to know Brooklyn Dodgers Manager Leo Durocher coined the phrase in 1939. Finish last.” Durocher was right — the Dodgers annihilated the New York “nice guy” Giants in that rival game, forever branding this idea into the hearts and minds of nice guys everywhere.
They would rather be in a relationship than play around, because that’s just the way they are.Make no mistake about it, though, no man has ever been turned away for being too good. But, when a “nice” guy pursues us, as Sheryl Crow puts it, we lose interest because he isn’t “strong enough to be my man.” Is he strong like an ox, or is he a pansy who gives in to her every whim?If a woman knows she has all the power and can walk all over her man like a doormat, she starts looking for an escape hatch.For now, the best thing you can do when you’re a nice guy looking for a date is to adjust to the circumstances, no matter how much it galls you. There is something you can do that won’t necessitate changing who you are and what you believe in, which is being nice.Instead of turning into an asshole just to sate the borderline tendencies of many attractive women, try being patient and see where the wind blows. You just have to adjust the level of your affections, because it’s the SMART thing to do. Before anything else, let us explain to you what a nice guy is.