These types of statements put the blame on a survivor’s shoulders, but it’s abusers who bear the responsibility for their behavior. “If you’ve been in a previous relationship where you had an abusive partner, it’s not your fault,” says Qudsia Raja, advocacy and policy manager of YWCA USA.
Blaming yourself for the abuse you experienced can stand in the way of trusting yourself or a potential partner. “You’re a survivor and you’re brave for leaving.” However, as true as it is, this language can take time for survivors to really own, Raja says.
Abuse comes in many forms — it’s not just physical.
Explore the tabs below to learn a few of the common types of abuse so you can better identify them.
More than one in 10 high school students have already experienced some form of physical aggression from a dating partner, and many of these teens did not know what to do when it happened.
If you recognize any of these warning signs in your own relationship, you can always call, chat or text with a loveisrespect peer advocate. Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body.
Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy.
This is perfectly normal since you carry with you the knowledge and wisdom of how love can go wrong.
Indeed, survivors may question their ability to ever have a healthy, safe relationship again.