Your partner's sexual history is important

SexSex partner - the ideal number to look attractive for a relationship

How many sex partners you can allow yourself if you want to be attractive for a relationship - and how many sex partners are average.


Why everyone wants to know how many sex partners you've had

"How many have you been in bed with?"

Nobody likes to hear the question about previous sex partners.

  1. Study reveals the ideal number of sex partners
  2. The ideal number of sex partners: This is what the relationship expert says
  3. What the number of sex partners really says
  4. What previous sexual partners mean for your relationship

The answer to this is mostly a lie. Our sex partners are extremely intimate and the number is actually none of your business.

But that doesn't change anything that everyone would like to know from other people how many sex partners they have already had. Especially with people with whom we are considering starting a relationship, the notorious question about previous sex partners is burning on the tongue.

A well-known fashion designer answered this question in an interview: "Less than Madonna, more than Lady Di." Much is left to the imagination.

A good tactic when using the following Statistics on the ideal number of sex partners knows:


Study reveals the ideal number of sex partners

Researchers from the Universities of Nottingham, Bristol and Swansea have investigated whether the number of previous sex partners can make a person attractive or unattractive.

Your approach:

  • 188 heterosexual people between the ages of 18 and 35 were interviewed - 84 men and 104 women.
  • The test subjects were asked how interested they would be in a relationship with someone who was previously in bed with X sex partners.
  • The number of sex partners in the question varied from 0 to 60+.
  • Interest in a relationship should be expressed for a short-term and a long-term relationship.
  • The survey was conducted anonymously online and distributed via Facebook.

The results:

  1. Potential relationship partners should already have sexual experience, but please not too much!
  2. 2 to 3 previous sex partners, for most of the respondents that is the best number for a potential relationship partner.
  3. If the number of previous sex partners increased, the interest in a relationship quickly decreased significantly.
  4. At more than 15 previous sex partners interest in a long-term relationship declined rapidly.
  5. Men don't pay as much attention to how many sex partners a woman has already had if they have just looking for a flirt or an affairare.
  6. Women feel men do more than six sex partners had to be much less attractive.
  7. For men, the limit is higher, because With them, the interest in a woman only decreases after eleven previous sex partners.
  8. Shortly after an affair, that tolerance level rose to three people.

"Contrary to the notion that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, Both sexes expressed reluctance to engage with someone who had an overly extensive sexual history", analyze the authors of the study.

Funny fact: the respondents did not meet their ideal ideas themselves. On average, men had 8.4 previous sex partners, women 5.81.


The ideal number of sex partners: This is what the relationship expert says

Eric Hegmann, Parship coach and couple counselor, is skeptical about the study: "Such numbers should be viewed with caution. When it comes to sex, people like to respond in the way they think they'd be expected to respond. That means: the men exaggerate something, the women understate something. From a purely arithmetical point of view, it wouldn't work out if men and women differed, because who would they have sex with then? "

In addition, most of the people surveyed were around 21 years old. At this age it stands to reason that the tolerance for previous sex partners is not as high as in later years.

According to German statistics, according to relationship expert Hegmann, every tenth man has had more than 30 sex partners in his life.

Only 2 percent of the women were sexually active in a similar manner.


What the number of sex partners really says

  • In theory, someone is experienced with many sex partners, while someone with a few is inexperienced. But experience alone does not make a good lover.
  • Is someone empathetic, imaginative, passionate - that cannot be determined by the number of sex partners. And who says that you necessarily learn more at different one night stands than in a long-term relationship?
  • The opposite is probably the case: While the brief contact is perhaps supposed to be impressed, a couple lives out their fantasies together over a longer period of time.
  • What good sex really needs: empathy, trust, security - the result is more tantra, i.e. intense, satisfying, lasting and not competitive sport: higher, further and faster over.

What previous sexual partners mean for your relationship

In the end it is a question of self-esteem: "Do I feel threatened or do I think: great!" It also depends on personal preference:

  • Do I prefer to be led or do I prefer to lead?
  • Do I want to have new experiences or are the experiences that I have had enough for me?

The big problem with sex statistics is that one quickly thinks: Everyone has more sex, why do I have so little?

You compare and ask yourself: is everything right with me? Are everyone else happier than me? This uncertainty spreads easily. Suddenly, self-doubt spoils the desire for sex. Or the thought of the loved one's previous sex partners spoils the joy of touching them.

Conclusion: No matter how much curiosity burns. Save yourself the question of previous sex partners. Once there is a number in the room, there is a high risk that it will trigger negative thoughts. Sometimes not knowing is better and love loves secrets.


Also interesting: 7 types of men that women always fall for

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