Think you're not arrogant, arrogant

Arrogance: How pride harms

Unfortunately there are always people with whom you think: How can you be so arrogant? Such pronounced cases of arrogance can appear anywhere - especially at work: a colleague who thinks he always knows everything; who improves the statements or the work of others; puts his own actions in the foreground and is already convinced that the entire company would sink into chaos in no time without him. In short: a classic case of arrogance. Arrogance certainly doesn't make people popular, but often you don't even notice how arrogant your own behavior can appear. We explain how arrogance can be harmful and give you tips to help you appear less arrogant - we also offer a free arrogance test with which you can find out how arrogant you really are ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Definition: what is arrogance?

Arrogance (Superbia) is first and foremost a attributed property. Nobody will claim to be arrogant - others do that. What is meant is someone who is a not met at eye levelbut thinks he is something better. Synonyms for arrogance are therefore also arrogance, arrogance, snootiness, vanity, imagination or a little older: conceit.

To that typical behaviors of arrogance belongs:

  • Thinking of yourself as something special.
  • Exuding excessive self-confidence.
  • To consider yourself irreplaceable.
  • Want to know everything better.
  • Ignore advice.
  • Judge and judge others.
  • Degrade the environment.
  • Demonstrate superiority.
  • Talking condescendingly on others.
  • Confuse and make others feel insecure.

You could also say: arrogance has it Ability to miniaturize - you feel smaller than you are when you are around them.

However, arrogance is an extremely shaky construct. It stays always dependent on others and needs their mirror to be able to stand out and rise.

Causes: where does the arrogance come from?

Arrogance is lived arrogance, arrogance, flaunted self-confidence and the open presentation of attitudes I'm better. However, there is often a species behind it Self protection. Behind the arrogant facade lies a fragile ego with a veritable one Inferiority complex: a low self-esteem coupled with a narcissistic hurt.

Your own self-esteem should be protected by your own arrogant demeanor and the degradation of others. One hides behind arrogance so as not to become vulnerable. But because arrogance is socially isolated, it creates a downward spiral:

  • In order to upgrade his low self-esteem, the arrogant is greedy Attention and recognition and makes yourself important.
  • But that repels, the environment avoids him. Instead of applause, the person concerned receives Rejection.
  • Then the arrogant increases the dose and plays out even more. A negative cycle arises.

But sometimes there is also one opposite effect, but with the same result: through his know-it-all who Vehemence as a substitute for substance uses, the arrogant unsettles his environment (initially). But that strengthens his perception and (supposed) superiority. The result: extreme overconfidence. Success literally goes to the head of those affected.

Here, too, there is one Negative spiralwhich makes the haughty one even more arrogant - but in this case also more convinced of himself.

Arrogance Test: Are You Arrogant?

Hand on heart: are you arrogant? Or do you suspect you perceived as arrogant become? Then do our little self-test. As an alternative, you can also see which statements apply to one of your colleagues. Add up the points and the evaluation will follow at the end of the test.

1. The colleague accidentally spills coffee in the meeting - how do you react?

  • I laugh and say what a strange face she made! (5 p.)
  • I immediately rush to the tea kitchen next door and come back with a couple of kitchen towels. (1 P.)
  • I watch the whole thing quietly from the table across the street - the colleagues next to her will help. (3 p.)

2. You have bought an expensive new car. Are you telling us that?

  • First I'll tell you in great detail about what else am I going to make such an acquisition for ?! (5 p.)
  • When my colleagues talk about the merits of certain brands, I mention it casually. (3 p.)
  • No, what does my car have to do with my work? (1 P.)

3. Rate how good you are on a scale from 1 to 10.

  • 1 to 4. (1 P.)
  • 5 to 7. (3 p.)
  • 8 to 10. (5 p.)

4. What does your circle of friends look like?

  • I'm not the friendship type, I have loose contacts from training / study times, you never know what they're good for. (5 p.)
  • My circle of friends is quite manageable, but stable, people I can rely on. (3 p.)
  • I have had contacts at work and in the club, and I have also had a close friendship with my friends since childhood. (1 P.)

5. If you leave the company once, then ...

  • if that goes down the drain - only pipes work there anyway! (5 p.)
  • everyone is replaceable, including me. (1 P.)
  • Hopefully they will appreciate my commitment better. (3 p.)

6. Do you have to comment on everything?

  • Rather seldom. (1 P.)
  • Yes, after all, an important aspect could go under. (5 p.)
  • It depends on the matter. (3 p.)

7. Has anyone already told you that you are arrogant?

  • No, not yet. (1 P.)
  • Yes, more often. But that's pure envy. (5 p.)
  • It happened once or twice. (3 p.)

8. An old friendship falls apart - what do you do?

  • I seek conversation and try to save what can be saved. (1 P.)
  • I regret the ending, but lately the differences have become more and more apparent. (3 p.)
  • I do not care. Is her / his loss, not mine. (5 p.)

9. If you make mistakes ...

  • I admit it right away. (1 P.)
  • When asked about it, I admit it. (3 p.)
  • What kind of mistake? (5 p.)

10. What do you think of your colleagues?

  • Most of them are just fine. (3 p.)
  • I get along well with everyone. (1 P.)
  • Most of them are not on my level. (5 p.)


Resolution to the arrogance test

Still unsure and not convinced whether you exude arrogance or at least that is how people around you perceive you? Then you can click on the following three warning signs respect, think highly of. If you discover these in yourself, you run the risk of appearing arrogant:

  • Ignore

    You're not listening properly anymore. You ignore or iron out other opinions and insist on your point of view. And of course only your point of view is the only correct one.

  • Overlooked

    You rule out being wrong as well as the possibility of making mistakes. In fact, you win with this one error-free Attitude no more respect - you lose him.

  • Overfly

    You no longer bother with people below your level. You simply don't have the time for that, and anyway you don't have the desire. That knowledge is just as obligatory as prosperity - you never even think about it.

Risks and Consequences: Arrogance is dangerous

Arrogant contemporaries are not only unpopular in offices. Since centuries are people to speak ill of arrogance. Sir Walter Raleigh also had to find out ...

He was one of the brilliant minds at the court of Elizabeth I. from England. The man wrote poems that are counted among the most beautiful of his time, he was a gifted scientist, a great seafarer, a daring entrepreneur, he was proven to be able to lead people. He was also charming. So much so that he did it with his gifts to the queen's favorite brought.

It was of no use to him. At some point fell out of favor and was sentenced to death. There were no advocates because Raleigh had dealt with his Perfection and arrogance previously made too many enemies.

A classic example of an all too true saying: Haughtiness comes before the event.

Fortunately, the consequences of arrogance are no longer as fatal as they were around 500 years ago. But those who repeatedly show others their own inadequacies through arrogant behavior create Feelings of inferiority and thirst for revenge.

Under no circumstances do you make friends with arrogance - neither privately and certainly not at work. Here in particular, arrogant behavior can have a lasting negative effect on the working atmosphere. The arrogant is far behind on the popularity scale in the office. Nobody wants to work with an arrogant colleague. This quickly leads to exclusion or bullying of the colleagues concerned.

The Corridor damage from conceit and arrogance is not to be underestimated:

  • The working atmosphere suffers

    It can put the mood in the whole team down if a colleague constantly acts and marks the work of the others as unimportant. A team quickly becomes a group of loners who only think of themselves. Instead of pulling together, we work against each other.

  • Motivation drops

    Anyone who no longer feels comfortable at work no longer feels the drive to do their best. Duty is only performed according to regulations, while the eight hours a day are served in the office.

  • Performances deteriorate

    The corollary of this is that the quality of the work also declines. Deadlines move backwards and there are more and more mistakes that creep in due to a lack of concentration.

    Studies also show: Those who are considered arrogant are rated worse by others and labeled as lazy underperformers - regardless of their actual performance. In addition, the arrogance leads to the fact that you are no longer involved in team projects and also perform poorly there.

Getting Rid of Arrogance: How to Make You Look Less Haughty

An arrogant demeanor is not always behind it Calculation and calculation. Many a colleague simply has one Knowledge advantage, which he expresses in the most unfavorable way possible and thus treads on the feet of his office neighbors. Is the call of the arrogant know-it-all humility or a guide for more modest appearances and less arrogance:

  • Compliment more often

    But absolutely honest! Undeserved applause rang like mockery in disguise. It is important to stick to the facts and neither to exaggerate nor to downplay. The more specific the praise, the more credible the recognition.

  • Share the appreciation

    Let others be in your spotlight too. You are much more likely to make loyal friends if you ask the instigator of your clever idea to come onto the stage with you.

  • Listen to

    Knowledge is power, no question about it. But no one has leased the truth. There is no objective one anyway. It is wise and tactically wiser to demonstratively admit other opinions. Ask questions about this - and sometimes admit that you don't know the answer. After all, your enlightenment could also be just dazzling.

  • Admit mistakes

    Nobody is perfect, everyone knows that. Nevertheless (and not just since Elton John wrote a song about it) it is one of the hardest sentences: "Sorry, you were right and I was wrong." But it is precisely this ability (to stand by your mistakes) that is an essential leadership quality. Just like being able to laugh at yourself.

  • Consciously seek advice from other experts

    Everyone has individual strengths. Honor that. You don't believe how unifying it is when you memorize these talents and competencies and address them in a targeted manner, motto: "Kai, what do you think of this as a decision-making expert?"

  • Fight Your Pride

    No matter what you say - the others will sense whether you are really doing you a service or just wanting to produce yourself. So ask yourself: why do you really want to share your knowledge? Last but not least, always wanting to know everything better can be an indication of uncertainty. As Satre said: "This is what pride is like: a plea from the wretched."

  • Pay attention to your body language

    Take a look at photos of yourself: Do you tend to keep your chin up? A straight posture is important. But if you put your chin forward, you seem arrogant in the truest sense of the word. Facial expressions - for example, raised eyebrows - can make you look arrogant. On the other hand, more frequent smiles and a facing posture have a more sympathetic effect on others.

Correct handling of arrogant colleagues

If you are unlucky enough to have to work with an arrogant colleague on a daily basis, you have probably been annoyed about it several times. With these three tips parry any arrogant behavior in the future:

  • keep Calm

    No matter how annoying the guy is, don't let yourself be carried away into short-circuiting. Imagine the puke as a patient who has to treat his profile neurosis. Just pitiful and nothing to get upset about!

  • Stay professional

    Stay professional - at all times. Parry arrogance with kindness, ignore clumsy attacks and take the wind out of the sails of this guy. Remember, often there is nothing but vanity and insecurity behind his behavior.

  • Evade

    If all else fails, avoid your colleague as much as possible. As a rule, such people stumble upon their own bad habits sooner rather than later. You meanwhile prove your size and sovereignty - and make a career.

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4th November 2020Author: Jochen Mai

Jochen Mai is the founder and editor-in-chief of the career bible. The author of several books lectures at the TH Köln and is a sought-after keynote speaker, coach and consultant.

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