A Florida pastor, Doug Giles, has put out "Ten Commandments" for young men who want to date his daughters.
Pastor Giles warns would-be suitors, "Don't even think about it," unless you are ready to obey his Ten Commandments.
Please facebook, email and tweet this list and my accompanying new video to dads who do not want their daughters to ever date or marry Lil Wayne, Charlie Sheen, Beavis or Butthead. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn't make me happy. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky.
And know this: I've got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.
His "old school," evangelical-preacher style comes with a strong flavor of the old Sinaitic threat of thunder, lighting, fire and brimstone on transgressors.
Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. If you say you're going to do something, then I expect you to do it. Parents, if you’d like an awesome full-color, punk-scaring poster of my 10 Commandments for Your Daughter’s Potential Boyfriends to grace your entryway, man cave or office, click here.
Yep, your best bet, home slice, is to both memorize and practice these commandments because I am Dad Almighty!
Additionally, you must be pursuing said noble goal at Mach2 with your hair on fire.
If you’re a slacking, blame-shifting, visionless slug with genital warts who’s waiting for someone to carry them into greatness and who lives by the dictates of his ding dong, then you need to find a girl who doesn’t have a father like me. Thou shall not touch my daughter, or I’ll tear your hands off and you’ll have to “whip the bishop” with a stub.